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There are 10 essential flirting moves that you must know. These are critical
if you are to get out of the "Friend" zone and into the "Potential Lover" category
with any woman:
1. Smiling. You must smile. You probably think you smile
now, but you don't, really. You should practice your smile in
the mirror--to be big enough to be noticed, your smile will probably
have to be bigger than you are used to.
2. Getting caught looking. Most people look away when
the object of their desire looks at them. If you want to let
that person know you are interested, when she catches you looking,
smile, hold eye contact a moment longer, then look away.
3. Waving. A little wave to someone who caught you looking,
along with a smile, is a non-intrusive, very flirty way to say "hello."
4. Winking. You can wink at someone from across the room,
or wink at someone during a conversation. If she says something
funny, or someone else does something silly, you can give a wink
as a way of sharing a little moment for just the two of you,
as if the two of you are in on some private joke no one else
is aware of.
5. Asking "what's the story behind that?" You can ask "what's
the story behind that?" about any special or unusual thing your
quarry is wearing or carrying. Examples: "that's really neat
bracelet you are wearing. What's the story behind that?" or "That's
a really great briefcase. What's the story behind that?" Even
if there isn't much of one, it's given you some conversation.
6. Holding eye contact. While you are conversing with
her, you want to be sure to have eye contact at least some of
the time. At least once it's a good idea to hold the eye contact
a little "too long," just a fraction too long, so there's a brief,
more intimate moment between you.
7. Non-intrusive touching. This can be as simple as placing
your hand lightly on her hand for a moment, or touching her back
for a moment as you walk to a table to sit down. Just do this
a couple of times on the first flirting interaction--if she pulls
away, don't do it again.
8. Checking her out. Checking out her body must be done
properly. The goal is for your new friend to feel complimented
that you noticed her body, not objectified like some piece of
meat. You do this by making eye contact, then quickly, in less
than a second, passing your eyes down and then up over her body,
then back to looking in the eyes. It should happen quickly, and
you should be unashamed of taking a glance. Just don't do it
too often.
9. Using the "Good-bye compliment." If you are shy, flirting
with the "good-bye compliment" may be just the thing you need.
On your way out, you simply go up to the woman you want to flirt
with, and say something like, "Hi, I have to go now, but before
I did, I really wanted to let you know that you have a really
great sense of style, and that I noticed it. I wish I had more
time to spend with you, but I have to go." Then leave. This allows
you to build your confidence in approaching women, without having
to take the risk of rejection--after all, you have to leave,
you couldn't stay even if they wanted you to! (Some men also
ask for phone numbers at this point.)
10. Stopping while it's still fun. Remember, flirting
should be fun, and you should leave the flirting interaction
feeling victorious. Most men leave their flirting interactions
feeling like failures because they don't stop until it stops
being fun. If you stop flirting on a high point, while it's still
fun, your new friend will feel good when thinking of you, and
want to see you again.
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